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This audio/podcast highlights three (just to mention a few) mechanisms I use in connection with forgiveness when I am wronged by people. I explore the topic indepth and explain the reasons behind those choices. The breakdown are as follows:
HEY YOU DON’T EXIST
This method of forgiving others may sound draconian to you and could in principle be critiqued and categorised as not letting go. However, I don’t entirely agree, reason being, choosing to cut off the people who continuously create toxic environment for me keeps me in a good space. The sad thing is sometimes dealing with toxic people brings out the worst in you. For ones own spiritual growth and sanity, it is sometimes best to avoid the whole package i.e. the toxic person and the toxic action. You forgive them, but you put them in a box and throw away the keys literally 🙂
HEAD-ON COLLISION WITH THE CULPRIT
Like the Wendy Williams Show slogan: “Say it like you mean it”. If you love someone dearly you should be able to express your hurt, resulting from their negative actions, to them freely. It may be seen as confrontational but at least, it allows people to communicate their true feelings ie pain/betrayal/sadness etc. This method works for me the best. You can be assertive about the way you feel without being overly confrontational.
MISS ME WITH THE BS
This method may be seen as deflection but hey sometimes people can be very predictable so when the situation is about to go left, let’s just say it would be best to forgive them in advance….”case closed🔨next caaasee”. Just drop the topic, let it go, crack a joke, change subjects, dance, think happy thoughts etc….simply anything but the real deal especially if it is not that deep…”Let it gooooo🎶”.
That brings me to the end of this blog. Please feel free to comment below and let me know how you handle forgiveness. No judgment here just an open space for interesting discourse.
“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you” Ephesians 4:32 NLT
Introducing my new podcast, vlog and blog series. A new dimension to my blog after going AWOL due to the hustle and bustle of life and after losing my dearest friend, Lyndon. I’m back with a loud bang and breaking out of my one-year experience of writer’s block. Now Watch this space for more details.
Lyndon was one of the first friends I made when I moved to Aylesbury in 2013.
I casually went on google one day to look for the nearest New Frontier Church ; the Exchange Church immediately popped up on my screen.
I remember Derek and I walking into the church and meeting Lyndon for the first time. He was friendly and welcoming. That same day we signed up to join his small group, which was to be held at his address every Tuesday. Derek and I made an effort to attend small group meetings religiously until the group dissolved at the end of the year.
Our car broke down in 2014 and we went through the whole of that year without a car. Lyndon was such an amazing man. He’d come and get us every Sunday to church. What a big heart he had! I will never forget his kindness.
Like I said at church on Sunday, if I was asked to nominate one person who I knew for certain to make it to heaven, it would be Lyndon. A devoted man of God who served in the church wholeheartedly.
He kept a paper diary and would always take note of days I had university exams and made sure to drop a text with encouraging words on dreadful exam mornings.
My last encounter with Lyndon was at the Christmas fete at the primary school. I asked him what he’d be doing for Christmas and just like the previous year he told me he’d be spending it all by himself. It made me a bit sad. I told him how I’d love to cook him a big meal if not for the fact that we’d be off to Ghana for Christmas. He replied saying, “tell me all about Ghana when you get back”. Knowing Lyndon, it was his way of brushing it off as if to say ‘Fiona do not worry, I’ll be just fine. You have fun and tell me all about it when you get back ‘.
I left for Ghana on 21st December and received an email the following day with the heartbreaking news of Lyndon’s passing. Seeing his empty seat last Sunday crashed my heart. I’m still in shock and still have not come to terms with the fact that Lyndon is gone forever.
Dearest Lyndon you’re gone but memories of you are so precious. You will be sorely missed!
I do not worry so much when faced with a storm because I have an anchor that keeps me steadfast while the billows roll.
There is so much in life to make one worry. However there are also many things in life to make a person smile. For example the air that we breathe, the very fact that we are alive, family, church, water, food, work, just being able to live a normal life and all.
I think of my anchor as my supporter, my strength, my comforter, my security and my safe pair of hands. I may be feeling weak internally but I put my faith in my anchor because I know that I will go through the storm no matter the outcome.
Having an anchor does not mean that one would not stumble or perhaps fall in the midst of the storm. Having an anchor also does not mean that one will not get hurt or even die.
Having an anchor means the storm won’t break or sink the ship. So even when all is not well with you there is still something to be grateful for.
Do not throw in the towel when the going gets tough. Trust me I have reached certain points in life when I have felt like giving up and pulling out because of a hiccup or two. Wanting to bury my head in the sand and just quit!
But my heavenly father reminds me daily that there is so much more to be happy for and to not allow myself to be discouraged when faced with trouble. It is right to say that God is bigger than the trouble we face so why should we worry.
3 Nights Ago is a short film, a psychological thriller starring Sika Osei and Mawuli Gavor. It is about a woman’s one night stand with a mysterious stranger. Written by my very good friend Gene Adu, directed by Idowu Okeniyi, cinematography by Apagnawen Annankra and executive produced by Sika Osei.
3 Nights Ago specifically broached the subject of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The film gets off to a relaxing start with Ewurama making a huge confession to Cobby, who surprisingly remains calm. It has a recurrent thematic element, the motif being evinced through an engagement ring, which at first looks like it’s made from silver then in later scenes it appears to be yellow gold and then in the latter scenes it goes back to silver (hard to miss this). My initial thought:
Was this a mistake? How could this have gone unnoticed?
Well, I just carried on watching the film and the plot twist was absolutely incredible.
Watch 3 Nights Ago here: